I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize