fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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