btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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