hotel room ftw
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
