Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
