I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
