So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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