Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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