At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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