what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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