the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
