Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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