We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize