you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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