I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
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