dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
