Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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