I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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