So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize