I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm passing your future prison.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.