Texts From Last Night

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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.

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  (580): White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy. http://tfl.nu/gb3d
  Replies (33) Good night (4617) Bad night (740)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.

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  (204): you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested. http://tfl.nu/msf1
  Replies (13) Good night (5605) Bad night (1032)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina

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  (717): ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina http://tfl.nu/5npd
  Replies (30) Good night (595) Bad night (8944)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.

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  (215): tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style. http://tfl.nu/z5di
  Replies (11) Good night (3610) Bad night (1118)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now

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  (412): My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now http://tfl.nu/563a
  Replies (12) Good night (1486) Bad night (5031)
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  (415): View more from California

  Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted

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  (415): Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted http://tfl.nu/ojyr
  Replies (6) Good night (3566) Bad night (978)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.

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  (732): Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered. http://tfl.nu/wcxh
  Replies (5) Good night (3284) Bad night (783)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?

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  (918): Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right? http://tfl.nu/jzhy
  Replies (2) Good night (2084) Bad night (734)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.

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  (434): my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life. http://tfl.nu/qxwb
  Replies (4) Good night (943) Bad night (2374)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I feel strange, like something is off with my body

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days

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  (604): I feel strange, like something is off with my body (1-604): Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days http://tfl.nu/yx6p
  Replies (3) Good night (1655) Bad night (542)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.

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  (608): We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you. http://tfl.nu/0tab
  Replies (7) Good night (1225) Bad night (427)
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  (310): View more from California

  My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.

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  (310): My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick. http://tfl.nu/xvdr
  Replies (10) Good night (1872) Bad night (580)
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  (559): View more from California

  Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch

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  (559): Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch http://tfl.nu/0nmy
  Replies (7) Good night (728) Bad night (483)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die

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  (306): but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die http://tfl.nu/3cnv
  Replies (4) Good night (1006) Bad night (339)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat

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  (703): What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat http://tfl.nu/4o67
  Replies (2) Good night (295) Bad night (510)

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