dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
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