im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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