Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
