If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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