Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
