she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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