Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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