no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
