I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I didn't notice because vodka
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
