She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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