I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
