too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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