id be glad to
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
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