just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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