I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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