weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
