my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
