If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize