Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We got so high we made milksteak
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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