The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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