I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
COCAINE IS GR8
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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