well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
