i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
