HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
