Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
