i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just found a bag of teeth...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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