Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize