i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
