I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
