He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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