a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize