you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
