you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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