I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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