Your mouth is God's brothel.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
