Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize