I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize