I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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