just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Duck Duck Cougar?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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