He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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