We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
