I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
